Exploring My Voice

Chocolate

2009-07-16T22:25:00.001-07:00

I was working on the discussion questions for class tonight just as we had finished laying the kids down. The question that I opened up to work on asked us to write a poem on the spot, this is what I wrote:

The sun has set
Kids tucked in
Time for the paycheck.
Reward for a long day
Putrid diapers, sassy preschooler, busy toddler, piles of homework
Soon it will all fade away into the night
the reward soothing the frazzled soul
Chocolate.

As a teenager, I wrote poetry with the typical rhymes and rhythm. Today. I find freedom more appealing.

What Now?

2009-07-16T22:01:00.001-07:00

The semester is coming to a close and I've wondered what I will do when I'm not in school. First, I will deep clean my house. After a few days of scouring, I am looking forward to reading several books. I haven't been able to read for recreation this semester and I really miss it. I will take a detour from reading and writing and I will make a rag rug that I have been wanting to make for months.

Finally, I will find a writing workshop for LDS Writers. My faith and religion (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints) plays such an integral part of my life and writing, that I hope to find a place within the LDS writing community to share my work and continue my growth and exploration of finding my writing voice. I really look forward to this new journey.

How I Have Done

2009-07-16T21:40:00.000-07:00

In order for my children to read about how I have coped this week, I need to write about it. So, I will.

Dear Children,

Finals week for college is known for it's heavy load. As a young adult, I felt an arrogant pride when I announced that it was my "finals week" in school. As a mother, now the arrogance is a bit more subdued and is replaced by a state of desperation. I am desperately hoping for mercy, and conclusion. Papa is working on his final projects for school as well. At least we're running the last lap together.

This week I've had to be creative with my time. I also had to compromise on a few things and turn in a research paper that I felt was mediocre. However, my professor wrote me personally to compliment my work. That alone was a great success in my book, I have always craved validation.;)

Papa and I have traded off when it comes to mandatory kid duty. He cooks sometimes, I cook the other times, he helps me figure out technicalities on my school work, and I proof-read his work. I took Caleb for shots and he worked on his paper as the Jakob watched a movie. When we're not "on-duty" we're at our computers. We have THREE computers in our little house, THREE! Yes Jakob, you have a computer to your name at 4 years old. What have we done?... Hopefully, we are showing you that we value education, we have, right??!!!

In conclusion, I have to say that I've made it through this week, because I married the most thoughtful, helpful, giving, and kind man in the world. He has helped me carry the load.
Just as we have helped each other through our finals week of school, we will help YOU when you need help with the load. Where there's a will, there's a way! Together!

Thirteen Years From Now

2009-07-13T09:35:00.000-07:00

I take on this week in preparation for thirteen years from now. Thirteen years from now my son will come to me in a state of panic. He will tell me that there is no way he can reach the goal, no way to meet all of the deadlines, just No Way! And I will say, "Where there's a will, son, there's a way." I will then take him to the bookshelf in the family library that is lined with the books that were once my blogs. I will turn to the year 2009, summer semester, this section will tell him about how I found the will to meet all of my college deadlines. I only pray that it will be a good example. We shall see...

Deadlines:

Poetry Piece
Advancement on my Final Piece
Reading review
Final Exam (100 points, no small task)
Research Paper (8 pages)
No discussion questions up yet, I PRAY they don't appear!!

Today's focus

2009-07-10T11:06:00.000-07:00

I am thrilled to say that yesterday I found the chamber door opened. I was able to make good headway with my final piece. It will be a long story, so I have a long way to go. But I really hope it continues to flow.

Today, I will take another road. I have to focus on technical writing and research. Wish me luck!! An interesting side-note: I just looked over the essays that I am supposed to analyze. They all revolve around health and nutrition. This is what my research paper is also about. It will be a health-ful day. Nice not to have to jack knife back and forth between subjects... Time to get started.

Fiction Piece

2009-07-08T10:12:00.000-07:00

This week we are focusing on a few things. Story and plot, flashback, and scene and summary, to name a few.

As I was reading the chapter I took notes of things that I wanted to remember as I write this week. I am pondering the idea of starting my fiction piece with a Flashback. We'll see how it goes. I also want to focus on developing the characters in the piece and discovering the plot. I'm not sure if the plot will revolve around the destruction and rebuilding of a marriage, the destruction of a marriage and the karma that comes to the wife who chose to destroy it, or the loss of the nanny's innocent perspective on the world around her. I'll start writing with these floating in mind, and we'll see what comes out.

Many Directions

2009-07-08T09:39:00.000-07:00

At the moment my brain and it's creativity are forced to travel in several directions. I have a fiction piece that I am hoping to complete this week (as it is due on Sunday.) I have the final piece that I have mentioned in previous posts. I have a large research paper in my other class that I am supposed to be putting together day by day, as well as a 2-3 page analytical article due by the end of the week.

Those are my writing obligations. I won't even go into the daily obligations as a mother. Chances are, you already know about that and can relate. The question is, how am I going to accomplish what I need to in my writing? I have 3 more school days in the week. I try to take Saturday off and Sunday for sure. I will take one project per day. On two of those days I have to do three discussion questions as well. Overwhelming? Yes. But I will do my best. That is all I can do. It will all work out.

Okay, let it be written, let it be done!

The Big Story

2009-07-06T10:45:00.001-07:00

Today I am bound and determined to get SOMETHING down on paper for my final piece for my Creative Writing course. The subject of my piece will be a creative fiction story that revolves around the ghosts that live within the family-owned Woolen Mill. I have mulled over it for days, to no avail. I talked to family members to try and get some creative juices flowing about the subject. I had hoped for some great insite. At this point, I have received a history of the mill with some tid-bits about ghosts. One thing is for sure though, the mill is haunted, and there could be a fun story about it. The problem is, I am the one who has to come up with the story. Grrr!

I wish so bad that I could open that chamber in my brain that holds all of the great stories. I feel as if it is locked and I am constantly, frantically, searching for the key to open it up. There must be a window open, because I occasionally catch a breeze of inspiration. But that's it, a breeze.

The Editor Has Spoken

2009-06-30T18:21:00.000-07:00

I thought a lot about my CNF piece throughout the night and figured out what I was trying to get across with it. I was also pleased to receive some good feedback from our writers workshop this morning too. So, this afternoon I got to work. I wrote, changed a diaper, wrote, made a bottle, wrote, sent Jakob to a friends house, and I wrote. I was just thrilled that my brain was working again.

I finished with the piece and I thought I'd send it to my dad (my editor:) As a chief copy editor for the Deseret News, he has an idea of how to critique a paper. I asked him to read it and give me his thoughts. And he did. What I was happy about was that I number one, didn't get upset by his requests, and number two, I could follow what he was trying to suggest. To me, that tells me that this class is paying off.

He told me that I had good stories but the flow of the piece wasn't smooth enough. So, I went back to work. I actually think I may have accomplished what he was suggesting. I guess we'll see...

Hit a Wall or a Crossroad

2009-06-29T16:23:00.000-07:00

I'm working on a Creative Non-fiction piece about my time living in Hawaii. It has turned out to be a traditional Memoir. My professor wrote a great lecture about keeping our ego out of our memoirs. I really needed that lecture. I find that when i write a memoir, I often try to weave a deeper meaning into it. Something that I want to "teach" my readers. I want to avoid that with this piece. The problem is, I don't know how. I'm stuck in a rut of habit and I am working on digging my way out.

I put the piece on our class' writer's workshop early hoping to get some good feedback. Really, this piece was written for them. My first draft was a bunch of ideas that I could write on and they seemed to really like learning about Life in Hawaii and their culture. So I'm hoping they can help me finish it like they helped me start it. We'll see. In the mean time, I'm going to set it aside for a bit and roll it around in my brain.

I Chose This Journey

2009-06-27T12:15:00.000-07:00

Technically, I have created this blog as a request from my Creative Writing Professor. But it is a very good request. I have felt the need to just have one place where I can rant and rave about my writing. Or, celebrate when I feel I've made a break through.

I took creative writing this summer semester because I thought I could breeze through it without too much thought. Uhh, can we say, the arrogant amateur has been adequately humbled! I was dead wrong in my assumption. I thought that this course would be so easy that I even signed up for an English 102 course along with it. This was a mistake! Now I am constantly trying to find the right voice depending on what I am working on. There is naturally a different voice to poetry then a research paper. My mainstream, only mine, voice comes through in all of my writing. But I always have to find the right tone to that voice. Sometimes I find it, and sometimes I am lost. Such is the journey that I have embarked upon. No looking back!